


The Light Fantastic

by appending_fic



Series: Fire and Wonder [11]
Category: Calvin & Hobbes, Coraline (2009), Gravity Falls, Hobbes and Bacon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, ParaNorman (2012)
Genre: Confrontations, Dragons, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Multi, Mystery, Reunions, Surrealism, Suspicions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 11:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10898604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appending_fic/pseuds/appending_fic
Summary: Returning to Gravity Falls, under siege by the powers of Delirium, and under the watchful eye of Dipper and his new friends, Norman finds himself on uncertain ground. Things are happening in Gravity Falls he doesn't understand, and a strange distance between him and Dipper make him wonder if their time apart has eroded the bond between them.And don't even get him started about the dragon...





	1. Chapter 1

In their desperate flight from the United States, Norman had heard all sorts of stories from fellow refugees. The skies had turned strange colors, the landscape warped into impossible shapes. Strange beasts had wandered the country, and phenomena like the Iron Wind making things even more surreal…

And most of the country was like that, a surreal dream that made the days bleed into one another, when the sun could crack like an egg and melt over the moon and then fail to rise for a week or a month or maybe only a day...

A few miles outside Gravity Falls, however, things looked pretty much the same. But then again, Gravity Falls had always been weird. Maybe Delirium hadn't thought there was much she could do to it. Mabel had taken the lead, by mutual agreement, and had announced they were less than an hour away from the town proper.

Kohaku was taking up the rear, eyeing the canopy at regular intervals. After about fifteen minutes of that, he dropped back, walking even with the dragon spirit.

"What's going on?"

"We're being watched," Kohaku said.

The canopy abruptly shattered. A deafening roar made the trees nearest them shake, and something like a solid rainbow slammed into the forest floor ahead of them. When dust and falling branches cleared, they were left faced with a monstrous creature, a long-necked reptile the size of a small mountain, shimmering wings folded up close to its body, and wide copper-colored eyes.

It shifted, slightly, and Norman caught sight of a trio of figures...or just one figure...standing on its head. They, or it, were dressed in dark, slick robes that concealed almost every detail of their forms. After only a moment, Norman turned his head away, his head aching from the strain of not knowing if he was looking at one person or three.

"Wow. Um, you've got a very nice dragon here. Um. Are you a friendly dragon?" There was a snort or huff, and Norman felt a wash of air almost too hot to bear. "Is that a yes or no?"

"Hey! Hey, get down!"

A blast of air sent Norman tumbling; he heard the others yelp or shout from similar falls, and a flash of rainbow colors bursting back up through the canopy. The multicolored form retreated until it was all but invisible.

As Norman crawled to his feet, however, it was to see a trio of people running in their direction.

"Mabel!"

Mabel's head snapped up at the shout, one that seemed strangely familiar even to Norman-

"Candy, stop!" The same voice that had shouted earlier brought the advance shape to a halt. All three of them were dressed in makeshift armor, padded and leather coverings that made easy identification difficult. The shouter was taller than the other two (marginally, in the case of the trailing figure), and Norman saw, as they drew closer, locks of red hair poking out through the helmet. "Just because nothing's tried it yet doesn't mean this isn't a monster pretending to be Mabel."

"Wendy?" Mabel scrambled to her feet and sprinted toward the redhead. "Is that you? I've been absolutely _everywhere_ but I never forgot about all of you and I never thought you'd all be okay but of course _you_ are because you're a badass and a Corduroy-" She hit Wendy at full speed, arms wrapping around her middle in what looked like the tightest hug Mabel could manage.

Wendy allowed only a faint 'oof', but after a moment, she reached down to return the embrace.

The original leading figure, which Norman could see looked about Candy's height and build, turned to Wendy. "I _knew_ it was Mabel."

"Candy!" Mabel switched targets with only that shout as warning, and the two girls laughed as they hugged. "You wouldn't _believe_ what we've been through!"

"I think that statement may have lost much of its rhetorical meaning over the past year."

Mabel burst out laughing. "You're right. But I bet you can't guess what we've been up to!"

"Chimera hunting." The last figure drew up, slouching, hands in his pockets. "Every time you took out one of the Big Seven, another continent dropped radio silence. You've got who left now? Destiny, Delirium, Bill?"

"Just Delirium and Bill," Norman replied. He stepped up to Mabel's side, peering at the figure. "I've met you before."

"Robbie. And you're - hey, Dipper's boyfriend!" He paused suddenly, and shot Wendy a sidelong glance. "He's going to want to see you."

Norman's heart skipped a beat; Mabel just squealed. "Dipper's _here_?"

"...Yeah," Candy replied. Mabel must have been too excited to reflect on it, because though the thought of it sent Norman's chest fluttering, he remembered the doubt that had assailed him in the Addams' home, when he'd seen Dipper conversing with Bill Cipher.

"In fact, we're supposed to bring newcomers to see him. As long as they're _not_ one of Delirium's creations."

"Those we're supposed to exterminate. With _extreme prejudice_ ," Candy announced.

"Right, so come on."

"Is that dragon a friend of yours?"

Wendy and Robbie snorted in unison. "Inside, people are going to act like this is the safest place in the world, and it might be. But it's not a sanctuary; it's a prison. That dragon's kept anyone from leaving since Rushmore fell."

"And what about those people riding it?"

"God, _those_ assholes. I think they're helping it patrol the border. They seem to know these woods like the back of their hands."

"It's not just that," Robbie added. "They're in league with some of the creatures out in these woods. Most of it's stuff from Dipper's journals. But at least one party got stopped by a _tyrannosaurus rex_."

"You said...they're just keeping people from leaving, right?" Hiro looked thoughtful, but Norman was a little distracted. Something about what Robbie had said about the creatures in the woods…

"Well, they _could_ have eaten any number of people coming in here, but people have made it through. _No one's_ gotten out." Wendy paused at a tree, getting her bearings.

"They _hate_ Dipper. It's why he's staying in the Northwest Mansion instead of patrolling."

"Yeah, thanks, Candy. She's right. The _squirrels_ flip out if they see Dipper outside of the populated areas."

"But Dipper's fine, right?"

The Gravity Falls natives exchanged a look. At last, Wendy shrugged. "Yeah. But this whole thing's been stressful on all of us."

Mabel nodded like there was nothing worrying about that response, but Norman couldn't stop thinking about the dragon, the riders, and apparently the entire animal population of the Gravity Falls area. It sounded a little too coordinated to be Delirium's doing, and that meant...what? It could be Bill Cipher; he might have a reason to want to trap people in Gravity Falls.

But something was niggling at his mind that made it hard to accept that theory.

The walk to Gravity Falls was largely uneventful. They passed several watchpoints, Wendy taking a few moments to talk to each set of guards, before they arrived in the town proper and began the climb to the Northwest Mansion.

The grounds around the mansion were mostly made up of small gardens, food and herbs planted in irregular patches. The front door opened at the first knock, revealing a slender blond woman in a fashionable cut shirt and skirt.

"Oh, Lord. I was just getting used to things."

Mabel grinned. "Hi, Pacifica!"

Pacifica sighed. "Hello, Mabel. I suppose you're here to see Dipper."

" _Ultimately_ , we're here to find and take care of Delirium, but yes, if Dipper's around-"

"Come on." Pacifica turned and stalked deeper into the building. The place looked...worn. Pacifica did, too; it was clear the incarceration in Gravity Falls was weighing on her. She led them into a library, a two-story room filled with a dense layout of bookshelves. "Dipper!"

There was the sound of movement at the far end of one of the bookshelves, and then a slender young man, brunette, face stuck in a book, stepped into view.

"Dipper!" Dipper's head snapped up, his eyes widening in...it had to be surprise, because there was no way Dipper would react to his sister with _panic_. And then Mabel barrelled into him, arms wrapped around his torso. "We missed you so much! And you'll never believe what we've been up to! We met a dragon and a robot and a ghost who became the new Death and-"

"Huh." Dipper carefully extricated himself from Mabels' grip. "Well, we've been holding down the fort. Made some new friends."

Mabel's grin widened. "Well, you know what I say - any friend of a friend is a friend of mine!"

"Then you'll have fun."

A wiry blond girl dressed in plaid and jeans poked out from another bookshelf. "Oh! Do we have visitors?" She sauntered over, coming to a stop next to Dipper. A little too close, Norman thought. Dipper didn't _like_ people in his personal space, with few exceptions.

"Yeah, this is my sister…" Dipper trailed off. After a moment, Mabel stretched out a hand.

"Mabel. And this is Norman, Arthur, Chihiro, Hiro, and Tadashi."

"Bacon." The blond girl shook Mabel's hand. "My friend Hobbes is prowling around here somewhere, although to be honest, he's probably napping."

"Did your parents name you after a breakfast meat or a philosopher?"

Bacon shot Norman a grin. "They always gave conflicting testimony. But hey, Mabel! I've heard a lot about you."

"I think we've got more important concerns than catching up," Dipper said. "Right, Bacon?"

She smiled at him gently and shrugged. "Sure." Mabel made a little growl, but neither Dipper nor Bacon seemed to notice. "So, why don't we retire to the study and talk about what you'll be doing around here?"

They all moved to follow, Norman finding himself moving more slowly than he'd expect when he saw Dipper again. Dipper had barely glanced at him, and Bacon had clearly not heard a lot about _Norman_. And that awoke a niggling, worrying thought. The girl looked normal, but with such a strange name, that oddly evasive answer, and a mysterious friend running around…

As well as the fact that she'd apparently made Dipper forget about his boyfriend…

Up ahead, Bacon leaned in close to Dipper to whisper in his ear. He replied quietly, and the girl's smile went a little toothy.

The creatures of Gravity Falls, strange and subtle beasts, would likely be hostile to someone in thrall to Delirium. Norman wondered who else in town she might have ensnared with her wiles, who might be a spy for the Chimera.

A hand suddenly clamped onto Norman's shoulder, tugging him away from the group. He jerked away, turning to meet Wendy's cool gaze. She put a light hand on Norman's arm and pushed him gently toward the front of the mansion.

"I think you'd be better off outside," she said.

"But-" Norman paused, gaze flicking, unwilling, back to Bacon and Dipper.

"Walk around a bit. Talk to people. Don't worry about _boys_ , okay?"

"O - okay…"

Wendy nodded and followed Dipper deeper into the mansion. Norman turned and managed only a few steps before he nearly tripped over a large orange mass that a moment's examination proved to be a sleeping tiger. The big cat raised its head and stared, unblinking at Norman for a long moment before letting its eyes blink slowly.

Norman's tension eased just a hint. He crouched down, holding out a cautious hand. "I know you're not _tame_ , but I hope you're safe to keep around all these people."

The tiger yawned. "Only so long as they keep me fed in tuna."

Norman yelped and fell back on his ass. The tiger grinned, a surprisingly unthreatening expression for all that it exposed his teeth. "What? Never seen a cat talk before?"

"Never had a tiger I just met make snide comments at me."

"Snide?" The tiger, possibly a he based on the timber of their voice, stretched and stood, carefully exposing his claws. "What makes you think I _wouldn't_ go wild and eat everyone here if they forgot to feed me?"

Norman gave the tiger a quick glance to confirm his original assessment. "You don't exactly have the sleek look of a hunter in practice. Whoever you're used to beating in fights is just humoring you."

"Excuse me?" The fur on the tiger's back bristled. "Do I come into your tent and tell you how to read tarot cards?"

"What?"

"Aren't you Dipper's boyfriend? The medium?" The tiger took a slow circuit around Norman, who kept still so the tiger didn't feel justified in pouncing.

"I didn't know he talked about me."

" _He_ didn't. But people talk. And even if they know little old Hobbes can talk, they still think I'm a big dumb cat."

Hobbes, then. Bacon's friend. Norman glanced back into the mansion, planning on how he might get away from the tiger.

"Look, you want to go grab something to eat? The diner always did a decent tuna salad."

Hobbes licked his chops before glancing back into the mansion. "Gonna have to take a rain check on that. Someone's got to keep an eye on this place."

And that was odd, Norman thought as he wandered into the center of town. If Hobbes had heard people talk, he should have wanted to keep an eye on Norman.

Uncertainty and paranoia might not have matched with the surreality of the world outside Gravity Falls, but they were in Delirium's bailiwick. And they might be the tools she wanted to use to break them. There was a line out the door of the diner, so Norman took a place. That, unfortunately, left him with time to must on his concerns. The dragon had left him feeling off-balance, and he hadn't had a moment to catch his feet since. The lingering worry that there was a more mundane explanation for Dipper's distance to Norman and closeness to Bacon didn't help.

A hand clapped down on Norman's shoulder, and he whirled, biting back a shout. But then he saw towering above him a large, genial man. "Soos?"

Soos grinned and waved. "Norman! Good to see you, man? When did you get here?"

"An hour or so ago. But what are you doing here?"

"What do you think? Somebody's got to keep peace around here."

"I thought...that was what Dipper was doing."

"Hm." Soos frowned. "You _haven't_ been here long. Come on inside and I'll catch you up." The crowd parted easily to allow Soos and Norman back into the diner. Soos waved at an unremarkable man at the far end before taking the booth next to the door. As they sat, however, Norman could see a few eyes fixed on him, including that man at the end. 

Once Norman was settled, and a piece of pie ordered for each of them, Soos linked his hands on the table in front of him. "You've got things half right. Dipper's spent a lot of time setting up our border patrols, keeping Delirium and her type out of Gravity Falls. But _inside_ , someone's got to keep the peace. Durland and Blubs have their part, but for some reason, people started talking to me about all their other problems."

"That's great."

Soos reached out and patted Norman's hand. "You look a little down yourself."

Norman shrugged. "Not your problem."

Soos nodded. "Probably not. But…" He gave the diner a quick once-over. "Well, hey. Why don't we swing by the Mystery Shack? I've got a few things there to show you."

"Well-"

"You know what? I insist. Sorry, all! I'm closed for business! Come on, Norman."

It was his lingering confusion, Norman decided, that kept him from struggling harder against Soos' guiding hand. Or maybe it was the fact that walking with Soos through the woods toward the Mystery Shack gave Norman a sense of normalcy, calling back memories of doing the same with Dipper.

The Mystery Shack hadn't changed, except for slightly more weeds around it. 

And one other thing.

"What's that bubble?" An iridescent bubble encapsulated the Mystery Shack, a barrier between it and the rest of the world.

"What bubble?" Soos laughed.

"The bubble around-"

A hand covered Norman's mouth. "Think the sun must be getting to you, dude. Come on, I want to show you something."

Soos swept Norman into the store, closing and locking the door behind them. And then he turned to Norman, giving him a weak, embarrassed smile.

"Sorry about the subterfuge, but you never know who's watching."

"Soos, what was with-"

"The bubble, yeah. Well, it turns out the journals aren't the only weird books around here. The basement's full of research on the supernatural, including a spell to keep out demons. Took some work getting the unicorn hair, but they're good people."

"But Dipper's keeping out Delirium and the rest of the Chimerae, right?"

"Like he says, yeah." Soos waved Norman after him as he wandered toward the kitchen. "But I've started to see everyone out there seems a little...confused. Acting a little out of character. Dipper's probably the worst of it. You probably saw it. The only person who seems immune to it is that girl - Bacon, and that tiger of hers."

"Hobbes, right? He talked to me a bit."

"Hm, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on that."

"My thoughts?"

"You've got good eyes, dude, right?"

"Well, yeah-"

"So what are the chances that's just a tiger?"

"I wouldn't use the word 'just' to describe _any_ cat, especially one that size."

Soos chuckled. "I'll give you that, dude. But nothing else? Nothing...weird?"

"Using what standard? We _know_ a girl who's got a talking cat trailing her around. The only weird thing going around is Dipper acting like I don't exist, or he's-"

"No way, dude. He's just...confused. Everyone is here."

"You think Delirium's here."

"This is Gravity Falls, dude. Nowhere in the world's as weird as here."

"I thought that, yeah. But…"

"I know," Soos sighed. "I tried to figure it out early, but it wouldn't fit. It's why I'm helping everyone work out their problems. It gives me an in, to see the big picture."

"I've got a different idea. I want to find that dragon."

"What? You do _not_ want to do that, little dude. The thing's huge, nasty-"

"Has it killed anyone?"

Soos stopped, raised a hand, and then let it drop. "Well, no one really knows if it's caught anyone trying to get in, but...no. I mean, a giant, rainbow-breathing dragon doesn't _need_ to kill anyone to make a point. Why?"

"Something about the dragon's bothering me, and if it hasn't killed anyone, it's just making me more suspicious. Come on."

"Hold on, dude. We gotta grab supplies, or-"

"No, I need to see this through. I'm going with or without you."

In the end, Soos followed without protest. Norman paused at the edge of the property, suddenly uncertain where to go.

"As near as anyone can tell, it's got a nest at the top of the Falls."

"Thanks."

They moved in relative quiet. The forest was devoid of even background noise, except for occasional movements through the undergrowth. They were being followed, Norman decided, but not being interfered with.

They weren't far, he was certain, when a pair of hooded forms stepped out from behind the trees.

"You need to stop," the one on the left said. Or was it the right? Norman was having the strange duality of vision where he couldn't quite tell if there was one or two people standing there. There was something odd about his voice...familiar, almost.

"What's the dragon for?" Norman demanded.

"You need to _go_ ," the one on the right said.

"Who _are_ you?"

"We're trying to keep you _safe_."

Like one of those three-d puzzles when the image snapped into view, Norman felt his mind shift out of the strange confusion that had plagued him. He couldn't place that voice because he'd technically never heard it. But he still knew it.

" _Dipper_?"

The two figures stepped back. They turned their heads to look at one another, and then the one on the right raised its arm. A hand emerged from the sleeve, tilting back and forth. "Not...exactly."

"And that means what, exactly?"

"We're sort of...clones." The reached up and each pulled back their hoods to reveal Dipper Pines. Or, rather, a smaller, younger version of the boy Norman had last seen. They were wearing copies of Dipper's old hat, one labeled 3, and the other 4.

"And what, you're trying to kill the real Dipper?"

"Of course not!" Number 3 exclaimed. "We're _Dipper_!"

"We'd never do _anything_ to hurt him!"

"Not on purpose, anyway," Number 3 added.

"Then what the hell is going on here?"

Number 4 sighed, letting his shoulders slump. "Since the cat's out of the bag...I guess we can tell you. Come on." He waved at Norman and Soos to follow. "Don't worry. Lebam won't actually hurt you."

"Unless you're _actually_ a construct of Delirium," Number 3 said.

"Yeah."

"Do you have names other than Dipper? Because it's going to be a little confusing otherwise."

Number 3 looked back at Soos. "I'm Tom. This is Thad."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Soos."

"We know."

"Do you know me?"

Tom bit at his lip. "Sort of. Know _of_ you, certainly."

Thad groaned. "Okay, I can't do this dramatic dancing-around-the-truth thing. We're working with Dipper."

"And it's sweet how hung up he is on you, but it gets real old after a while."

"Wait - what? He was _ignoring_ me back in town."

"You see, about that…"

They stepped out into the clearing in the trees that held Gravity Falls proper, the steep cliff hurling a glittering rainbow to the river below. Up at the top, blinding iridescence shifted in strange, serpentine patterns. And down below-

"Tom, do we need to go over the plan again? Because I don't remember _letting people see our faces_ being part of the _keeping hidden_ aspect."

Dipper, wearing the same slick coat Tom and Thad were, hood down, stood at the base of the waterfall, next to a campfire. He was scowling, and looked older and thinner than Norman remembered. But his eyes, brown, focused and lined with the strain of frequent late-night reading, were the same. His hair was longer, though tied back to leave his birthmark exposed.

And he was...the most wonderful sight Norman had seen in months.

"Dipper."

Dipper froze at the sound of Norman's voice. Given the hesitance of his gaze, Dipper hadn't actually _looked_ at Norman until that moment. His hand reached up, eyes widened, and he took a single, shuddering breath.

"N - Norman?"

"So what've you been up to? I've been killing gods - oof!"

Dipper ran into Norman with an enthusiasm that only his sister could match. His arms came up behind to hold Norman to him and he just rested his forehead against Norman's. Norman took a breath of his own, finding the scent of sweat and smoke on Dipper more convincing to the reality of this moment than anything else. Norman tugged Dipper a little closer and then, gently, ducked down to press his lips against Dipper's.

Dipper stepped back, and his face...his eyes shone, on the edge of tears, and were fixed on Norman's face. His hands clenched and unclenched reflexively at his sides. He looked like he was destroyed and saved all at the same time.

"I should have known that wasn't you in town."

"Well, you're the only person who noticed."

Stuck out here with only himself for company, Dipper had obviously had a lot of time to brood. "That's not true. The Dipper in town's keeping his distance from people who _know_ you, and those that do can see something's wrong."

"...Oh."

Soos' voice drew Norman's and Dipper's attention; Norman's cheeks flushed a little when he realized the reunion had had an audience.

"What's 'oh'?"

"The power went out for a couple days after Mount Rushmore," Soos said. "Was that enough to unfreeze-"

"Yes. I don't know _what_ that shapeshifting bastard has planned, but he's not going _anywhere_ until I figure out how to nail him to the wall."

"Shapeshifting-"

And that - one of Dipper's old stories Norman could only half-remember, of a shapeshifting alien imprisoned beneath Gravity Falls - explained it. Someone who didn't know how to act around someone they knew was close to Dipper, who didn't recognize Dipper's boyfriend easily, who would meet with Bill Cipher to plan the world's downfall.

Who cozied up to innocent young women who thought he was just an ordinary human.

"We've got to warn everyone. Get _Bacon_ away from it."

Dipper's expression shifted suddenly, crumpling into a scowl. "No. I've got to handle this on my own." He glanced at Tom and Thad. "In a manner of speaking."

"Do you think I can't do it? I've helped take out _five_ of the Ciphers!"

"No! I just…" Dipper paused, swallowing. "You shouldn't have to."

"And you should?"

" _Yes_."

"What, because you agreed to protect Gravity Falls? No one said you had to do it alone-"

" _Because it's my fault_!" Dipper snapped. "I opened the door and let the Chimerae through!"

And Norman had heard that accusation, once. Cleared of Despair's influence, he'd thought on it, trying to make sense of it, trying to find something that it made it not be a betrayal.

He'd had a thought, but he needed to know.

"Tell me why."

"W-what?"

Norman stepped back to Dipper and rested his hands on his shoulders. He reached out to tug Dipper's chin up, so their eyes could meet. "I know you did. Tell me _why_."

Dipper's whole body shook. "I thought...it had to happen someday. I thought...we could handle it."

And _that_ was the sense in it.

"I did things, though. Little things, when I opened the door. I thought it'd make a difference." Dipper pulled away from Norman, letting his gaze fall again. "But Bill's still here, and the world's falling apart-"

"Little things…" Norman could remember the look of shock on Destiny's face when he'd realized that Tadashi had died but still lived, no longer bound by the rules that governed fate. That Tadashi had lived beyond the forty-four hours Desire had intended for him. "You saved Hamada Tadashi's life."

"What?"

"He was supposed to die after they brought him back, wasn't he? You messed that up - it helped us defeat Destiny."

"Defeat?"

"We've defeated five of them, Dipper." Norman grabbed Dipper's shoulders and turned him around. "So you _did_ something."

"It doesn't even begin to-"

"Stow it. I'm helping you deal with this, Dipper, whether you like it or not. So, what are you trying to do here?"


	2. Chapter 2

Dipper reached a hand down to Norman; Norman grabbed the hand and used it to help scramble up to the top of the waterfall that gave Gravity Falls its name. He didn't release Dipper's hand when he reached the top, but he did turn slowly to take in the view.

Although, to be fair, most of the view was overtaken by a monstrous form covered in rainbow-colored scales. A head larger than Norman rested on forepaws that could crush him with little problem, and the bulk of the form lay behind it. Its eyes were dull copper, familiar in a way Norman couldn't quite place.

"He _is_ cute," the dragon rumbled.

"Yah!" Norman jumped back, only Dipper's stability keeping him from stumbling too close to the edge.

The dragon laughed. "Don't worry. I don't bite...unless you ask nicely."

"Stop it, that's gross," Dipper snapped. "Anyway, this is Lebam. She's a dragon. Um. Obviously. This is Norman."

"I could tell." A mouth full of teeth longer than Norman's arm turned up.

"Are you from around here?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Stop it," Dipper muttered, nudging the side of the dragon's head. "I know you think it's your job to be cryptic…"

The dragon sighed. "You take the fun out of everything."

"Well, maybe when demons aren't running rampant through the Midwest, we can have fun. Lebam is...well, a dragon."

"You said," Norman replied, smiling despite himself.

"Yeah, but - dragons are - they're not _real_. They're…"

"Imaginary projections," Lebam supplied.

"There are places where they can exist, and ways to open doors there. When Bill and his family came through, opening those doors became...easier."

Norman looked up at Lebam, a lethal reptilian nightmare clad in rainbow and with a jovial personality. His perception shifted, and he couldn't help grinning. "And when you imagined her, she just came out like Mabel?"

Dipper ducked his head, flushing. "...Maybe."

Norman leaned in to peck Dipper's cheek. "Don't be embarrassed. It's cute." He looked up at Lebam, admiring the sleek lines of the dragon. "Although I wonder if Mabel'd be upset to find out you imagine her weighing twenty tons."

"Ha! When she was six, she played Godzilla with my building blocks."

"So what's your actual plan?"

Dipper paused before shrugging. "I honestly don't know. I...thought maybe I could find Grunkle Stan, but that hasn't been working out. There's a million worlds out there; it would take some sort of super-genius to get to the exact world you wanted.

"There's a whole forest of monsters and mythological beasts out there, but none of them are willing to do more than keep everyone penned in here. An elf showed up six months ago with a Christmas present for Mabel - apparently, the last Christmas gift Santa's giving anyone."

"You're Jewish-"

"A gift to all of humanity, then, he said." Dipper waved vaguely at Lebam, who had retreated to crouch over a pile of strange objects including a glittering silver box. Dipper took in the sight for a few moments before sagging against Norman. He looked up at Norman with watery eyes, lip worried between his teeth.

"I don't know how to do this, Norman. I thought I could stop them, and I can't even keep that lousy alien from taking over the whole town."

Norman snorted, ignoring the flash of hurt as Dipper's eyes widened. "Do you think I beat five Chimerae all on my own? Mabel's been with me the whole way, Dipper, and this dude Arthur and a dragon like Lebam. And every time we've faced a Chimera, someone else has stepped up to help us take them down. So don't act like you have to do this alone. I'm here. And I'm sure Grunkle Stan would love to be here to help you take down Bill-"

Lebam spasmed, suddenly, and took off with a single flap of her wings, a downdraft nearly sending Norman to his knees. Behind her, the air flickered and sparked, octarine light outlining strange shapes.

A voice, distant, drifted from whatever otherwhere lay beyond the lights illuminating the falls. "It was just a minor calculation error; now that I've fixed it, we should end up right at the top of the Falls-"

"Not the lab?"

"What? No. Why?"

"...No reason. Why don't you go first?"

And then Dipper's Grunkle Stan stumbled onto the grass at the top of the waterfall. He raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun, and Norman saw he had six fingers.

"Get back!" He stepped between Dipper and the newcomer - another shapeshifter, maybe, or something stranger and more dangerous, wondering vaguely what he could do beyond giving Dipper a few moments if the thing attacked.

"Hey, whoa whoa!" And another Grunkle Stan - with five fingers on his hands - lunged into reality. "Hold on!" Once he was certain no one was going to start hitting one another, he gave Dipper a wide grin. "Hey, kiddo."

"What the hell is going on? Why is there another you here?"

"There isn't." Grunkle Stan rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. "This is your great-uncle Stanford."

" _You're_ our great-uncle Stanford!"

"No. I'm not. I'm your good-for-nothing great-uncle Stanley. You might not have heard much about me."

"But I-" Dipper glanced back and forth between Stanford and Stanley, before he stormed a few steps off and screamed at the valley beyond the falls.

Stanford gave Grunkle Stan a sidelong look. "Is he-"

"Just give him a minute."

Indeed, Dipper turned after a few moments and plodded back to Norman's side. He took a deep breath. "Obviously there is a very long story here. Unfortunately, we really don't have time to get into it. Grunkle Stan, Uncle...Ford? We've got to save Gravity Falls from a vicious doppelganger, punch Bill's little sister into submission, and then track down that stupid triangle and make sure he doesn't hurt anyone ever again."

Grunkle Stan grinned, an expression that was all teeth. "That...sounds like an excellent plan. What are our assets?"

"Right now? Me, you two, Soos, Norman, two photocopier clones of me, and a draconic manifestation of my memories of Mabel."

"Plus a Christmas present from Santa Claus - or an elf who worked for him, a bag of powder I think makes people invisible, or maybe just makes them think they're invisible, twelve thousand Italian lira, a box which either contains a doomsday weapon or three oranges that I've been afraid to check because it'll collapse the waveform, and a thirteenth century plasma rifle." Lebam, who had circled the group to land back next to her minuature hoard, held up the latter item, a rusted iron gun with a series of gleaming blue crystals inset along its length, gingerly. "I think trying to fire it would be...a bad idea."

"That's…" Grunkle Stan glanced back at Ford, whose face was twisted in confusion. "Great. I guess this is the dragon friend you mentioned. Hey, kiddo."

"Grunkle Stan!" Lebam swung her head around, teeth showing in what was probably a smile of surprised pleasure. "I thought you'd left us!"

"Ha! And let Bill run around like he owns the place? I left to find _him_." He jerked a thumb at Ford. "I figured if anyone had any idea how to fight dream demons, it'd be my genius twin brother."

"Is he?" Lebam twisted her head around to examine Ford carefully before huffing. "Well, then, you can say what you think about _my_ plan. You see, I'm a dragon. Like a _big_ dragon. I thought we could just swoop in and _blast_ that stupid shapeshifting alien to cinders."

"It would definitely be worth a shot, but I think I'd like to try something a little more subtle. The shapeshifter would rather bolt and change shape than get in a fight it can't win. So for that, we've got to corner him. Any idea what he looks like?"

"Dipper. Well, sort of. Like you'd imagine Dipper would look like if he hadn't been living in the woods for a year."

"And actually, there's supposed to be a town-wide meeting in a couple hours or so," Soos offered.

"Is there?" Grunkle Stan asked, grinning. "Well, then I've got a plan."

It wasn't an elaborate plan, Norman mused later, as he and Dipper stepped into town, finding the streets emptier than earlier.

"I guess they're getting ready for the meeting," Norman offered.

"I don't like this," Dipper muttered. "I shouldn't have left them alone this long-"

"It wouldn't have been a good idea."

Dipper yelped, falling back against Norman; he stumbled, nearly sending both of them to the ground. A round, pale, bald man stepped out of one of Gravity Falls' few alleys. He looked like he'd dressed by raiding the remnants of whatever dwellings or stores he'd found, and for all Norman knew, that's what had happened.

Dipper, though, on catching his balance, straightened, stepping between Norman and the newcomer.

" _Blendin_?"

"Hello, Dipper."

"What are you doing here? I haven't been messing around with time travel."

Blendin snorted. "It wouldn't matter if you had. There isn't anyone to tell me what to do about it."

"What about the Time Baby?"

"If the Time Baby could beat Bill Cipher, do you think he would have let it get to this point? No, the Time Baby…" The man, Blendin, swiped at his eyes. "He gave me one last mission."

"Mission?"

Blendin tugged a pocket open, revealing…

A glowing hourglass encased in a glittering bubble; the light was almost blinding.

"A _Time Wish_?" Dipper reached out for the bauble, but his hand dropped and he frowned. "You can't use that to stop Bill, or the Time Baby would have. So what-"

"I'm supposed to pass it along to someone who can use it right," Blendin replied. "And I remembered Mabel Pines…" He bit his lip. "But I can't help thinking about...what you said. That it can't _do_ anything."

Dipper grinned suddenly, shaking his head. "At the right time, the right wish can make all the difference. I think the Time Baby knew that. I think _you_ knew that. So you've been waiting for her here?"

"I was. When you showed up, I thought maybe...but something was _wrong_."

Norman nudged Dipper, who gave him a weak smile back. 

"Well, we're about to get to the bottom of that. You want to come along?"

"No. I've got a job, and that means staying out of the way until it's done."

Dipper, though, took the Time Wish and placed it, almost reverently, into the bag at his side. "Best of luck, Blendin. I hope…"

"You'll do it, Dipper. You and your sister - there's a reason the Time Baby told _me_ to take the Time Wish, and I know it's because I'd come to you."

The town seemed to be gathering at the Northwest Mansion, a large crowd standing at the foot of a wide stage. Dipper's doppelganger, Bacon, and Mabel stood on the stage, and the doppelganger was shouting something. Hobbes was curled up on the side of the stage.

No one had noticed them, because no one was asking questions. Dipper, then, took a deep breath and began shoving his way through the crowd. There were shouts and yelps, and then Norman heard the exclamations of the few people who saw enough of the intruder to recognize there were two people who looked like Dipper.

"Hey!" Dipper shouted, and the people onstage glanced down. "That's not Dipper Pines!"

"Oh, fuck," Bacon growled. "Hobbes!"

The doppelganger was twisting and changing, shedding the shape it had taken, such that he was already ten feet tall and monstrous by the time the tiger was on its paws and lunging for him.

"Oh my god, you picked the _worst time_!" Bacon shouted. She tugged something from her pocket that looked like a toy ray gun-

"Get down!" Norman shouted, tugging Dipper to the ground. An eight-colored rainbow, blinding and burning with the power of a white-hot star, seared the air above them. Norman could hear a scream from the stage, but he didn't dare look up until the light faded; when Dipper had used the Brahmastra to kill Ravana, it had taken weeks for Norman's vision to fully clear.

Once he was sure it was safe, Norman released Dipper's head and raised his own. A smoking corpse lay on the stage. Bacon, Hobbes prowling around her, stood in a wide stance, the Brahmastra cracked and smoking in her grip. Now that the threat was over, it seemed a good time to ask where she'd managed to track down that little gem, a tool that let those able to find it kill _anything_.

Bacon, however, glanced sidelong at Dipper and threw the weapon aside, which shattered as it hit the ground. "God, are you _insane_?" Bacon snapped, scrambling down to the ground. "What would you have done if that didn't work, huh?"

Dipper scrambled back, but Norman just stared, because everyone had responded to Dipper's declaration with shock, but not Bacon. "Did you _know_ that was a shapeshifter?"

"Yes! It took me _three days_ to realize nobody around here _did_! And I was _trying_ to figure out what he was up to - I was pretty sure he knew where Delirium was, but now that's out the window-"

"I don't remember falling out a window. But things have been a little confusing for...a while."

Norman looked up, heart sinking. Something rose from the remnants of the shapeshifter's form, a being whose form similarly blended and shifted. A blue and brown eye looked out from the form as it straightened, briefly taking on the shape of a human, a girl. She was smiling, no malice in her expression.

"I remembered my sibling shared someone's body, and while I don't normally do things like that, I remembered Bill wanted to keep an eye on Gravity Falls because he knew someone would show up here but I didn't think that I could keep hidden for very long but then I met Mr. Shapeshifter who can stay in the same shape forever if he wanted. I don't think he'd be happy you exploded him. But I might have planned to do something similar when I had my big reveal. Oh!"

The girl spun around, cutoff shorts morphing into a lacy denim gown that spun around her. "Ta-da!" When no one responded, she frowned, a tiny little sign of displeasure. "What's wrong? Oh! Did I forget to introduce myself? Hi! My name's Delirium and I'm here to destroy you."

And then the world shattered. Norman's skin burned with the touch of violet ice, his eyes coated with bloody slime, and thoughts scattering as he tried to gather them. His arm detached from his shoulder and went spiraling away when he tried to raise his hand, and then his tongue went sharp and jagged, slicing up his cheeks and shedding sugar candy. Bugs crawled through his insides, a billion legs walking through his capillaries.

"Man, you must have had so much fun growing up."

The words sloshed around inside Norman's ears, seeping through a puncture in his eardrums and bleeding into his brain.

"Growing up?"

"I couldn't manage to imagine half of this stuff. I pretended to be a cowboy, a space explorer, a superhero."

Norman stumbled, and his body went flying into the air.

"You're making fun of me!"

"What?"

Norman took a deep breath, and the air weighed him down enough to bring him back to earth. The ground shattered under the weight of his body, before liquefying and leaving him half-buried in molasses.

"No. Being able to imagine something like this - I'd have had so much fun! You didn't?"

Norman began sinking in the molasses, that thinned and became blood-scented as his head fell beneath. He gasped, fluid filling his lungs. But bubbles, effervescing like soda, filled his lungs.

"Because I can't _stop_."

For a single moment, Norman's consciousness crystallized into clarity. He was on his hands and knees in front of the stage. He thought Dipper was somewhere nearby, but filtering reality through his shell-shocked mind proved difficult.

"Oh stop whining. You're _wallowing_."

"Hobbes-"

"You're _hiding_. I know that look well enough. Do you know how often I had to drag Calvin out of an imaginative funk?"

" _Of course I'm hiding_! I was Delight, once, until I realized…"

"Realized what?"

There was a voice, spoken at a whisper, and then a gruff laugh.

"Is that _all_?"

"What?" And Norman's mind was clear enough to recognize the teary edge to Delirium's voice.

"Look, I can get it. You grew up without a tiger around to keep you grounded. But letting _that_ make you think reality isn't worth living in? Reality has _tuna sandwiches_."

"How does that make it better?"

"Well, at least you can face the world on a full stomach."

"Heh…" Delirium began chuckling, her breath hitching and then exploding into paroxysms of laughter. It went on for a long time, enough that Norman could sit back up and see Delirium sitting down, arms wrapped around Hobbes. She seemed to be crying, as well.

Eventually, she pulled away. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but she pulled them out, polished them against her shirt, and popped them in, fresh and bright again.

"Well," she said. "That's certainly a new way of looking at things. I suppose you'd like it if I stopped letting my imagination run wild."

Bacon nodded. "It would help a lot of people."

"Well." A pressure Norman hadn't been fully aware of lifted, and he could see other people cautiously standing. "I hope you don't expect me to help you fight Bill. _Terrible_ things happen to people who start turning on their family."

"No," Bacon replied. "I think all of us agreeing to leave us alone is for the best."

"I won't deny you a wish for the best, though. He might be family, but Bill _is_ a bit of a butthead." And then she was gone, leaving the humans of Gravity Falls behind to figure out what had just happened.

A moment that was broken with a pop and an explosion of air. Up on the stage, curled around a humanoid figure, was a Chimera, a dragon-tailed goat with yellow eyes and a mismatched pair of bat and bird wings.

Power bled from him, like Bill's siblings, but the humanoid figure, which appeared to be Coraline, and the cat, which could be nothing else but the cat, seemed unafraid.

"Hello, Gravity Falls! My name's Discord, and I'm here to help you with your Chimera problem!"

"And what," Pacifica drawled, "makes you think we're going to just accept your word for it? It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to see _you're_ a Chimera."

Discord raised a paw to his chest, his goat face managing to look wounded. "Where I come from, it's impolite to make assumptions about a creature's motives because of their species. Mind, until a few years ago, it'd have been a _very_ bad idea to expect me to help you. But!" He pointed a claw-like talon as his whole body perked up. "That was before I learned about the magic of friendship. _Harmony_. Before Bill Cipher decided he was going to take over the world and the rest of us were going to help. Before he started killing his brothers and sisters."

Next to Norman, Dipper shook his head. "And how do we know you _can_ help?"

"Well...the way I see it, you've got two problems." Discord held up two fingers. "One, is Bill Cipher. And I'm not getting into the middle of that fight. Two, though, is the hundreds and thousands of Chimerae waiting to swoop in and take over once Bill's out of the picture. And _that_ I might be able to help you with. Help them see the wisdom in backing down. Staying out of it. Bill wasn't good at...friends."

"Well, friends. That I'm good at." Mabel pushed her way up to the front and stuck out a hand to the Chimera. "Should I wish you good luck?"

"Luck? Oh, _order_ , no! Bill's had eons to learn how to shape reality to conform to his every whim. You're going to have to be more _cunning_ than him. You're going to have to scrabble for every advantage you can get your hands on."

"Then give us something we can use," Norman said. "We've beaten Death, Destruction, Despair, Desire, Destiny, and Delirium. Each of them consumed by one principle that defines them." Something at the back of his head twinged at the statement, but he didn't have time. "No one's been able to tell us what consumed Bill."

Discord laughed. "Oh, can't you figure it out? The only thing that matters to Bill Cipher are his own twisted ambitions, the murderous fantasies he's nurtured since the beginning of time. He is consumed by the thoughts of what he can become."

"By his dreams," Mabel concluded.

"Oh, yes. They'll consume _you_ , if you fail."

"As long as we're being friendly," Dipper added, "I wonder if you might be able to give us a lift-"

"Ha! Drop you right in the middle of Bill's Antarctic kingdom? I suppose I could, but not until you're absolutely certain you're ready. I might be a fan of chaos, but getting you all killed is _not_ my idea of a good time."


	3. Chapter 3

Bill looked up from the throne he'd made for himself, to find Delirium crouched in front of him.

"Hey, sis! How's the Gravity Falls gig going?"

"I'm done."

"What?" Bill sat up, feeling a frown tugging at his mouth. "Done?"

"I think...I don't want to be a part of this anymore. I just wanted you to know."

"Oh, Delirium. I wish you hadn't said that. You're my favorite, you see."

"Delight."

"...What?"

"It's Delight." She lifted her head, and for the first time in eons, Bill could see clarity there. "I realized there's nothing so terrible it can't be made better by the existence of tuna sandwiches." She reached up carefully before plunging a sharp claw into her skull, pulling it out a moment later. She held out her pulsing brain to Bill, a grim smile on her mouth. "So you can have my old brain; I don't like what it was doing to me. Unless...you want to fight me."

Bill considered for a moment about whether he _did_. Delight may be his youngest sibling, but she was the first of them, and understood things about reality Bill couldn't imagine.

"I don't think you want to fight me _and_ the Kindly Ones," Delight offered.

Bill shrugged. "I suppose you're right. Go on, get out of here. I'll even agree to leave you alone afterward."

Delight grinned toothily. "Of course you will."

And like a jackal and bear meeting in the woods, they nodded in a careful truce and parted ways. Bill waited until the moment Delight was gone to bolt forward and grab the brain Delight had offered him - Delirium's brain.

He grinned, because for all the threats, the knowledge that the Pines were leading an army to his doorstep, he was ready. Uncountable eons, and Bill had all the pieces he needed to complete his apotheosis.

Win, lose, or draw (though it was _going_ to be a win), Bill was going to have a _blast_.


	4. Chapter 4

"Huh." Mabel pulled the silver wool sweater from the box, twisting it around to read the words stitched in red.

'Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.'

"I would have expected Santa's last gift to humanity to be a little more impressive than a sweater," Dipper muttered.

" _And_ a hat!" Mabel pulled a mass of black fabric from the box and shook it to straighten it out into the shape of a pointed witch's hat, which she popped onto Dipper's head. "Anyway, I think a sweater's an _excellent_ present for someone you expect to be going to Antarctica to fight demons."

"Yeah, well, it probably seems like a great present if you've already got a Time Wish and whatever's in that wallet Grunkle Stan gave you."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Don't think I didn't see that box Uncle Ford gave you. I bet it's some super-awesome ray gun."

"The Brahmastra isn't going to be able to kill Bill. And it's not an ancient, god-killing weapon: it's an infinity-sided die."

"Infinity-" Mabel's face wrinkled. "That doesn't actually sound all that useful."

"Well, it is, and it isn't. When you roll an infinity-sided die...anything can happen. Which means you only roll it if you've reached a point where _nothing_ can make things worse." He patted Mabel's shoulder. "Come on; let's go."


End file.
